Opting Out
When we are anxious, control helps us feel better. The same goes for our dogs. It can be very hard for us humans to let go of control, allowing our dogs to say "No" BUT it helps them feel so much better!
Of course, sometimes saying no isn't an option and that is ok. We can pick these times wisely and prepare our dogs for those harder times. Most decisions however are not life or death. We can help our dogs build confidence if we just listen and give them a voice =)
Feed them for saying "No"
There are many different ways and many scenarios where we can give our dogs a say in what they do or in what happens to them. This topic came up for me because yesterday, Riker didn't want to get in the car to go for a hike. I asked him if he wanted to go back into the house and he did. I gave him a cookie and a bum scratch, told him he was a very good boy, and went for the hike without him.
But... didn't I just reinforce him for not getting in the car? You bet I did. Obviously there is something going on for Riker to make him rather stay home. He's had a big week and if he needs time alone to decompress, that is ok!
The cookie was for communicating his needs. No dog will want to skip a hike in order to stay home unless they have a lot going on. We don't have to worry about teaching our dogs to not enjoy hiking.
In some circles, this is called "Intelligent Disobedience". For instance, a seeing eye dog leading their blind handler has to say no if they are asked to walk under a ladder that will hit their human in the head, or out into traffic.
Maxi's Example
The lightbulb moment for me about letting dogs say no was with my dear Maxi over a decade ago. We were working hard on Maxi's reactivity and she was doing well, so I took her to an agility fun match.
We walked out to the start. I asked her to sit and I walked forward. I released Maxi to the first obstacle and she ran back to her kennel. We didn't listen. I set Maxi up again, walked out, released her, and she ran into her kennel. We listened right? No... we did not! Instead, my coach closed Maxi's kennel. I asked Maxi to sit, I walked out in front, and released her.
Maxi left. She literally left... ran off, out of the arena and into the woods. She tried to opt out, to tell me she was overwhelmed, and no one listened, so she simply left.
Another dog might have sniffed the ground, gone to pee on things, or reacted at a dog or person on the sidelines.
When we take our dogs into these environments, we have an extra duty to listen. Now when I teach sports, I always have a crate or bed handy and if a dog wants to run there instead, we pay them and re-evaluate our training plan.
For dogs who sniff or go pee on things to opt out, we teach them to go to a bed instead to say no. It's clearer for us and we are less likely to have other people annoyed with us and our doggos.
One client, a sweet little sheltie, would run into a tunnel and lie down where no one could get him <3
Teach an Opt Out Behaviour
Dogs can be taught to offer a behaviour instead of the one being asked. I particularly like this for dogs who are friendly but anxious about saying hi to strangers. We wouldn't use this for a dog who is a bite risk, only for dogs who tend to want to run away (flight response) or get super silly (fool around response) when a stranger tries to pet them.
I teach dogs to offer a peekaboo trick where they stand between your legs facing forward. We could get into a whole article just on training this as an opt out behaviour!
The gist is that if you cue a dog to "go say hi" to a person, they can go to get pets OR might offer a peekaboo instead. Pay the peekaboo. If a dog would rather have a single cookie than have a stranger touch them, that is really good info to have.
Other ways dogs say "No"
- Dogs who guard bones, toys, or their food can be allowed to say no too. The training for resource guarding happens BEFORE the dog says no.
- A dog who is walking near another dog might sniff or veer away from the other dog. We need to be careful to watch and respond to our dogs if they do this. Saying no quietly and subtly like this is one of my go-to skills for many dogs. If we don't listen and accidentally pressure them into an interaction with another dog, we can get big reactions.
- Body handling including brushing and nail trims is very hard for a lot of dogs. We can work on cooperative care to build solid, confident skills. We can use a chin rest as a start button when the dog consents to grooming. In the meantime, if a dog really needs their nails done, medication can be used to bridge the gap. In a lot of cases, medication can be used to speed up the learning process.
I hope this post gives you something to think about! If you have other ideas for when you let your dog say "No", I'd love to hear from you =)
