I had to advocate for Riker.. and it felt icky


I had to advocate for Riker.. and it felt icky

Riker’s monthly visits to the vet are hard for him. After each visit, his fear of car rides comes back for a few days, and his tolerance for the other dogs at home decreases. He is not a resilient pup and I have to be careful about his stress levels. For the last year, we have had a handling plan that works for him: I hold him for his injection in the waiting room of the vet's office.

At the latest monthly visit I was told that Riker’s handling plan would be different today. I wouldn’t be holding him for his injection and they would take him in back without me. I said no, that they wouldn’t be taking him into the back. I would have medicated him for that option. After some back-and-forth, we all agreed that I would hold him for his injection in an exam room.

I declined the new handling plan because I know Riker is better if he is with me. I know that the less stress I cause him with these visits means less stress all around. I know that it is okay to advocate for my dog - I make my living teaching people how to advocate for their dogs!

BUT…

I felt ICKY. Really icky. I know my vet’s office is overworked, understaffed, and really does care about me and my dog. I didn’t want to make things difficult or make the staff uncomfortable. It is very hard to say no to people, chance conflict, possibly upset them, and to not be a ‘good person’ as society tells us to be.

For reactive dog owners, advocating for them can mean setting boundaries with vet staff, random strangers, friends, family, or even your spouse. Not everyone is going to agree or understand, yet our dogs still need us to stand up for them, to protect them.

Some tips for advocating with people in public:

No Is A Complete Sentence

  • Say “No” kindly yet firmly and hold up your hand like a stop sign.
  • Initially, do not offer any justification or explanation as this invites conversation and compromise.
  • Once people stop, then you can explain your reasons if you want to. Or not.

You Do Not Owe Anyone An Explanation

  • No one is entitled to demand a reason for why you said, ‘No.’
  • No one is entitled to argue about whether they get to interact with your dog.

Use Body Language

Keep yourself positioned between yourself and the stranger, or just walk away. Did I mention that you don’t owe anyone an explanation?

Advocate For Yourself, To Yourself

We can practice all of this, and recognize that it is still hard and it is ok that it is hard. Sometimes things in life aren’t easy and we still do them. We deserve to have and maintain boundaries for ourselves as well as our dogs.

Riker has anxiety around handling - always has, always will. I have put a lot of time into his handling challenges and now I can easily trim his nails, I can brush him in little sessions, and he is pretty good! When we first brought him home, I’d medicate him, muzzle him, wrap him in a towel, and my husband would hold him while I trimmed his nails - they were so long! Now, I take my time and he stands for me to do them, no muzzle, no restraint, very little stress. He has come a very long way in trusting me.

I will continue to advocate for Riker and I will continue to help people learn to advocate for their dogs. It’ll probably always feel icky, but I would feel much worse if I didn’t advocate for him and I let him be handled in a way that will set him back. I also deserve to advocate for my boundaries and not allow myself to be handled in a way that will set me back. Both of us deserve it.

FREE WEBINAR!

In case you missed the announcement and are wondering what this is all about, I am so excited to offer this FREE Webinar on Leash Reactivity. So many of you struggle to walk your dogs and I find myself sharing the same information over and over again with each new student. We will address the commonly missed key parts of fixing leash reactivity and getting you back enjoying walks.

It makes us so much more confident when we know how to help our dogs and how to give them the skills so they can enjoy their walks too!

P.S. Right after the webinar, I'll be opening the doors to LEASH REACTIVITY DEEP-DIVE, my group mentorship program in which I spend 8 weeks with a small group of people struggling with leash reactivity.

Because this is a custom experience and I get to know each of you and your dogs intimately, space is limited! We will sell out. Be sure to read all the details ahead of time so you're ready with any questions you might have!

I hope to see you soon!

Christina

2738 Holden Corso Rd, Nanaimo, BC v9x 1n5
Unsubscribe · Preferences

Positive Dog

Subscribe if you'd like to receive my somewhat regular emails including training tips and concepts as well as info about my upcoming freebies and programs!

Read more from Positive Dog

Using a treat to move a dog past a distraction, or as I often do, to get them out of trouble when we end up in over our heads... it's more of an art than a science. It takes a certain feel. The trick is a few treats, or a single large treat, and you keep it on your dog's nose. Your dog can lick or gnaw at it, but you keep the main part of your treat enclosed in your hand. As you lure your dog away, if you sense your dog backing off, you slow down or open your hand slightly to allow better...

Have you ever been told that your dog should always walk beside or behind you, never in front? If so, do you remember the reasoning behind it? I’d love to hear about your experience! Hit reply and let me know. Some common explanations include: Ensuring your dog knows you’re in charge Keeping your dog in a submissive position There are also more practical reasons, such as: Allowing you to position yourself between your dog and approaching people Maintaining a shorter leash for better control I...

Is it wrong to treat your dog like a small furry human? Well... No.. but also Yes, when it compromises a dog's wellbeing. I love my dogs. Hell, I love your dogs. I love so many dogs =) I have relatives that might talk about how I love dogs TOO much. And yes, I treat them like they are people some of the time. Dogs are sentient beings. They have feelings and emotions similar to the ones we feel. While their minds may differ in certain ways, we all thrive on kindness, love, compassion, and the...