🔍Can you say "No" to your dog?

Wait! Wait! Don't send the hate mail just yet!

It is ok, and for many dogs, important that you be able to say "No" to your dog... but we don't need to use the word no.

"No" does not mean "No, or else..."

Instead, can you say these things to your dog?

No, we aren't playing right now.
No, you can't go visit that person/dog right now.
No, that food on the coffee table isn't for you.
No, you can't have the treat in my pocket.

And, you don't actually have to use the word "no". I tend to use softer words and phrases, although no does come out of my mouth sometimes.

It's the concept we need to teach.

A lot of us have baggage around the word no because historically, especially in dog training, it predicted punishment. Physical or verbal corrections (punishment) used to be how most dogs, not to mention kids, were raised. Although some people still train this way, most us know we don't need those methods any more.

I'm old enough to remember my friends getting 'the strap" in elementary school. For you youngsters reading, teachers used to hit children with a big piece of leather as punishment. This was the norm.

Kids aren't dogs. Dogs aren't small fuzzy humans. But learning works the same way for all of us from mice to dogs to gorillas to humans.

"No" without Fear

When we say, no you can't do/have that, we are teaching impulse control. Can our dogs see a thing they like, and NOT go get it. Can they relax while not having access to the thing?

We teach a lot of alternate behaviours so our dogs have another behavioural option, and we never want to leave our dog hanging, feeling frustrated.

Here's a post from this fall demonstrating one way to teach impulse control with food:

https://positive-dog.kit.com/posts/day-1-find-your-spark

We cannot always keep reactive dogs under threshold.

The world just isn't set up for that. We need ways to go out into the world where we can enjoy our dogs and do some good training, but also having a game in our back pocket that gets us out of trouble when that surprise doodle on a flexi held by a child bounces around the corner.

In general, concepts are important to understand, and labels or application of training without understanding WHY gets us in trouble.

It is ok to say no and to set boundaries with your dog, and this is done thoughtfully and with patience. It's never necessary to use punishment, pain, fear, or intimidation as a part of a training plan.

The Next Leash Reactivity Deep Dive Begins Jan 2025

Check out the LEASH REACTIVITY DEEP-DIVE, my group mentorship program in which I spend 8 weeks with a small group of people struggling with leash reactivity. Submit videos, ask questions, and meet awesome people and dogs.

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