6 Tricks to Training a Dog Who Actually Listens
(WITHOUT LOSING YOUR MIND)
Do you sometimes feel like you train and train and train, but when it really counts, your dog ignores you? Your training doesn't hold up?
That happens to a lot of us and it is SOOOO FRUSTRATING. There's always a reason for it beyond the concepts of dominance or intentional disobedience. Dogs are very smart, but also very simple in a lot of ways.
Dogs do what works, what feels good, or what makes sense to them in the moment.
6 things you can do to improve your training.
1 - Energy Matters
I just wrote a whole email about affecting your dog's energy (arousal) using your voice, your movement, and how you deliver treats—but there's more to it.
Some behaviours are easier to teach with low energy, building up the foundations and gradually adding more arousal. Other behaviours are easiest to teach with high arousal, then progressing to low arousal as your dog's skills grow.
Do you know which is which for your dog?
3 - Play More
Play is one of the best ways to bond with your dog, but that's not all. Play is how animals practice getting out of tense situations—without the negative effects of cortisol and other stress hormones. If we play strategically, we can also build skills for arousal control. Plus, play generally improves physical and emotional wellbeing, memory, and immune system function!
All of this together makes play a very important part of any training plan—whether we play with toys, with food, or just with our bodies.
3 - When You Can't Train, Manage
Sometimes we work really hard on helping our dog through a challenge, but the events of the rest of the day undo all of our efforts.
If you are working on a problem like counter surfing, when you aren't there to ensure your dog keeps 4 paws on the floor, use gates or doors to keep your dog out of the kitchen.
If you have a leash reactive dog who also barks in the car when they see a dog or kid or whatever excites them, use a covered crate or a calming cap to prevent rehearsal of those behaviours - you can't train while you are driving.
If your dog likes to sit on the back of the couch and bark at people walking by, when you aren't there to train, be sure your dog doesn't have access to that couch or window.
The first step in changing habits is to prevent the rehearsal of the unwanted behaviour.
4 - Stop Nagging
When your dog doesn't respond the first time, it's a chance to get curious rather than louder. Repeating the cue over and over or with more volume or frustration doesn't make it clearer—it just adds noise.
Have you ever have someone just keep repeating themselves when you didn't understand what they meant? Or have you had someone raise their voice and get frustrated with you when you were just having a rough day?
Instead, pause and ask yourself "What CAN my dog do right now?" Start there.
Dogs who don't respond to cues aren't being stubborn—they're telling us something.
5 - Know The Difference Between Luring and Reinforcing
Luring (having a treat in your hand) is just fine when teaching something new or helping your dog through a tough spot—but know the difference between luring and reinforcing.
Luring — The treat comes before the behavior. You use food to guide your dog into position (like moving a treat above their nose so they sit). The dog is following the food.
Reinforcing — The treat comes after the behavior. Your dog performs the action, you mark it ("Yes!" or click), then you reward. The dog is earning the food.
A dog who is being lured might be developing good muscle memory, but might not be thinking about what they are doing.
Good reinforcement mechanics can make or break your training.
Ask your dog to sit by saying "sit" and/or giving a hand signal, then mark with "Yes" or a clicker, then reach for the treat to reinforce. This creates more clarity for your dog and builds a more thoughtful dog who can think and respond when you ask them to do things.
6 - Love Your Dog For Who They Are
Your dog is a product of what they've learned, the environment they live in, their genetics, and their individual personality. (Check out Kim Brophey's book Meet Your Dog for much more on this.)
When we bring a dog home, we usually have ideas about the things we'd like to do together and the kind of relationship we want to build. Often this works out—especially if we stack the deck in our favor by choosing a dog with a known history or genetics likely to mesh well with our lifestyle.
Sometimes, though, it doesn't work out that way. Our dog isn't interested in or able to do the things we imagined. That's okay! We're all individuals with our own needs. Training can take us far, but recognizing who your dog is and what drives them is just as important to building a strong relationship together.
